Just a week ago.

     Well it's been quite a hard few days.  A week ago tonight, at about 9:30, I was alone with Dad at the hospice while Mom ran home to be sure that the furnace was on.  And we had our last conversation.  He wasn't able to speak, because he was so short of breath and just didn't have the air and muscle strength to push out words.  But he could nod.  His head was hanging down, and I asked if he hurt.  I was able to figure out that his bottom hurt from sitting in the recliner, and he stood up briefly with my help, and we readjusted him temporarily while waiting for the nurses to come help get him comfortable in the bed.  His head was hanging forward, and I said, "Dad, is your head too heavy?  Are your neck muscles weaker?"  And he nodded, yes.  Oh my gosh, what a awful feeling for him.  And so hard for me to see and realize.  Yet another ALS gut wrencher moment.
     The next day, he slept most of the day.  He would still wake up, briefly, on Tuesday.  But his last time in his trusty recliner was a week ago tonight.  Seeing that empty brown leather recliner at their house is hard, and Mom plans to donate it to the ALS association. 
     This disease is a beast.  A horrible, slithering, evil beast.  It takes and takes and takes.   I am beyond sad, and my heart is so heavy.  I don't think that the loss of my father has completely hit me yet.  But for now, when I am sad, I am trying to remember some of the moments of loss like that.  And I remind myself that his body is perfect in Paradise.

     We posted the oldest 3 grandkids' talks from the funeral.  Man, did they ever love their Grandpa.