May 4, 2012

Meaka (From Joan)

Side note from Erin:  For those who don't know, my parents purchased 40 acres in the Black Hills a few years ago with the intention to relocate during 2011-2012.  I have felt extreme guilt over the last 9 months because I so desperately did not want my Mom & Dad to move away.  I even felt slighted by the fact that they wanted to "leave us."  I felt like my kids (and I) would miss out on an awful lot having them 5-6 hours away.  I wish now with every cell in my body that it could have gone the way they wanted it to.

We had decided that when we finally got moved to the Black Hills our days would consist of lots of early morning rides with lunch on the trail, and a nice nap when we got home.  I had not been riding much since my  hangman's break in my neck & my shattered elbow a few years ago, but we both believed that riding in the Hills is much safer because there is no traffic other than an occasional deer, and the horses are not too frisky after hauling someone up and down some hills for awhile.
So anyway - right or wrong that was our plan.

Today would have been one of those days…I would have heard the early morning sound of Bill making coffee and then heading out to get the horses ready.  I would have known that I needed to hurry and pack some lunch, but Bill would take care of the rest.  He always checked the tack on my horse after I saddled the horse he still checked it over anyway, so we just got in the habit of him doing it while I got myself and lunch ready.

Bill had been selling our horses for a long time but he held two of them back to move west with us.  “Lightning” a very trustworthy sorrel gelding, and “Meaka”, his gray mare.  He and Meaka totally understood each other – She was a bit ornery and he liked her.

After Bill was diagnosed, we had some days that were pretty tough.  One was when someone bought our horse trailer that we had worked so hard on, and the other was when the horses were sold.  Bill did his usual thing and found good homes for them – not sure if he made or lost money on those two, but it really didn’t matter anymore.

I am still struggling with the “why” question.  I am trying to figure out what good I need to do here without him.  I keep praying, asking and waiting…

The other day while in Hobby Lobby, some woman walked up to me and said “Say, you wouldn’t happen to have a husband waiting for you would you?”  I just smiled but, the answer is of course – yes, I do.

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